Chances are you have been in a conversation with someone who is describing the latest diet they just began. Or maybe you recently went to a family gathering and a relative you haven’t seen in awhile made a comment about “falling off the bandwagon” when dessert is served. This is what we call diet talk—defined as any kind of talk surrounding food rules, restriction, weight loss, diet trends, body shaming and negative body talk.
Diet talk may seem harmless to some, but it is actually very detrimental. Diet talk perpetuates diet culture and the idea that a “smaller, thinner body is the best body.” Research shows that dieting is linked to eating disorders and dieters are eight times as likely to suffer from an eating disorder by the age of fifteen than non-dieters.
As we enter the holiday season, here are a few different ways to help you navigate diet talk:
Excuse Yourself
You have every right to end any conversation that makes you feel bad about your body. Depending on the setting you are in, you can excuse yourself in a few different ways.
For example:
“I have to run to the restroom, I’ll be back in a bit.”
“I have to run to (an appointment), but it was great to see you!”
“I just remembered I forgot to ___, I’ll be right back.”
Don’t Engage
If you don’t feel comfortable excusing yourself, another option is “don’t engage.” You have every right to not engage in diet talk. If you feel comfortable staying in the conversation an option is to not say anything at all. This can send a message that you don’t support diet talk and are not interested in participating in that kind of talk.
Change the Subject
Not everyone feels comfortable shutting down diet talk and that is perfectly okay! There are a million other things to talk about that have absolutely nothing to do with diets or our bodies.
For example:
“I’ve been meaning to ask you - have you been to that new restaurant (insert restaurant name)? I am thinking of trying it out.”
“I choose not to focus on my weight. How has work been?”
“Oh by the way, I wanted to talk to you about the plans for ____ coming up. Do you want to coordinate that?”
“Oh, I don’t want to talk about diet stuff, let’s talk about something else!”
Be Bold and Set a Boundary
Setting boundaries takes practice and can seem overwhelming at first. Whether you are in recovery or not, it is important to set boundaries and let people know diet talk is not acceptable.
For example:
“I am recovering from (eating disorder / disordered eating / diet culture) so, yes, my body changed. In the future, please don’t address my body like it’s a topic of conversation.”
“I’m working on listening to my body more and choosing foods that feel good for me. I’m not interested in discussing calories with others right now.”
“I am not going to talk about my body today and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t comment on it either.”
“Yup! Weight gain (or loss) happens when you’ve recovered from an eating disorder!”
Educate
Many people don’t know the harm diet talk can create. This could be a chance to educate someone on the realities of diet culture if you feel comfortable and let them know your body is not a topic of conversation.
For example:
“We don’t need to earn our food. Bodies don’t work that way.”
“There are no good or bad foods. Food doesn’t have morality. I like to think of food as nourishment and energy for my body.”
“I’m currently working towards being a better intuitive eater. It’s a compassionate, self-care eating framework that treats all bodies with dignity and respect.”
“Did you know diets actually don’t work? I’m learning about intuitive eating right now and it’s really interesting!”
If you are currently working towards creating a better relationship with food and your body, finding yourself in the middle of a conversation with someone telling you about their latest diet can be extremely challenging. You deserve to have a positive relationship with food and your body, free from diet talk. And remember, it is also perfectly okay not to know what to say in the moment. Food or negative body comments are typically a reflection of their thoughts and fears about their own relationship with food and their body.
If you have a situation coming up that may find you in the middle of a diet talk conversation, it can be helpful to come up with a loose plan with your dietitian or therapist. If you would like guidance navigating diet talk, you are welcome to reach out for personal nutrition counseling with a member of our team.
